Trauma Aware Care

As humans we are extremely adaptive and any response from our being is there because it allowed us to survive in some way. Even the most frightening and unsettling feelings are protective responses that are trying to keep us safe from danger.

Sometimes our system can become overwhelmed and the fight/flight or dissociative responses that emerge don’t have a chance to be completed and the tremendous amount of energy that is mobilized for survival does not get discharged. In these cases, these states can become chronic and feel disruptive and unhelpful.

It can be hard to know what to do or how to support ourselves when we are experiencing big feelings and sensations, or feeling numb and incapacitated. This can be challenging, exhausting, and overwhelming. If this feels resonant for you, you are not alone.

When we look at these responses from a trauma-informed perspective, it might allow us to hold more compassion for ourselves, see the strength in our coping strategies, and tend to...

If we experience complex trauma & chronic pain/illness, sometimes the advice or responses we get can feel invalidating.

We might have heard that every single chronic pain symptom or condition is because of our trauma.

We might have heard that we just need to do emotional, psychological or mindset work to "clear" our symptoms or conditions, or that our condition is "all in our head".

We might have been to practitioners who denied any correlation between our chronic pain/illness and traumatic events, even if we feel this connection.

We might have seen practitioners who refused to take the emotional and mental components of our chronic pain/illness into account in sessions or treatment plans.

It can feel incredibly healing and supportive to be validated in our experience of chronic pain/illness & complex trauma.

We might want to be supported, heard, and believed for what WE know is true about our experience. We might want to hear: yes,...

For a long time I felt afraid that if I didn’t remember everything that happened to me then I wouldn’t heal, but I also felt really afraid to remember everything.

Since becoming a therapist that works primarily with trauma, and continuing my own journey without remembering everything, I’ve learned that remembering can look a lot of different ways and that remembering everything is not necessary.

The reality is that sometimes our body remembers what our mind cannot. We feel these memories in the form of sensations, anxiety, or just a general sense that something bad happened.

Sometimes trauma happens when we are so little that we don’t have words or a framework yet to make sense of it. Instead it informs our very conception of ourselves and the world.

Sometimes to survive what has happened we dissociate so completely that we don’t remember what happened in a clear and concise narrative. Trauma memory can be stored differently from regular memory.

We...

In our culture we often think of healing as linear, ascending and as having an end point. This model can often leave us feeling stuck, broken or like we aren’t moving fast enough.

I visualize healing as a many layered and circular process that can occur much more slowly than many would have us believe.

We may find ourselves circling back to things that we thought that we had resolved and feel frustrated because it can feel like we are returning to the beginning.

Yet, we are never going back to the same place we came from. Each time we return there are new resources, a newfound resilience, a shifted perspective and different things that we are feeling and accessing.

Sometimes it will feel like healing is the last thing on our minds, but sometimes that is exactly what is happening beneath the surface. Something is settling or integrating. We are finding our own unique way outside of prescriptive norms or the path that was set out for us.

On the...

The mainstream rhetoric around what we label “addiction” often centres around genetics and self control and focuses on cognitive and abstinence based treatments. The role of trauma is rarely mentioned or acknowledged.

There are many layers to addiction and we must look at all the biological, social, psychological and spiritual factors. Each case is unique and there is no one size fits all solution. But an overall acknowledgment of the correlation between trauma and addiction within the medical model is critical.

Many addictive behaviours offer a reprieve from painful and overwhelming sensations and emotions. The ability to distract ourselves or soothe ourselves in times of overwhelm can be a vital resource and isn’t always a bad thing. Many substances and behaviours aren’t inherently addictive. It is our acute and frequent need for relief from pain or discomfort that leads to the addictive relationship. Any time there is a relationship with a substance or...

On struggles with sleep

If you are finding it a struggle to sleep or rest, you are not alone. During times of stress, crisis, and trauma, rest can be a coping tool and it can also feel quite out of reach. It can also feel unsafe and difficult to sleep for survivors who are navigating complex trauma. Insomnia, broken sleep, trouble waking easily in the morning and nightmares are all common.

If our nervous system is activated, we might find it hard to downregulate when it’s time for bed. If we are feeling unsafe and uncertain in the world and our environment, it might feel too unsafe to sleep. If big feelings and old wounds are re-emerging, these might come up when we are trying to fall asleep, once we aren’t distracted by the busy-ness of our day.

We cannot force ourselves into sleep but we can weave little rituals into our day to support us to prepare for sleep and allow rest to feel more accessible. 

You know best which rituals and rhythms are soothing for...

It’s very common for survivors to doubt their experience.

They may question:

Was it really that bad?

Am I mis-remembering?

Did I imagine what happened?

This is an understandable response because our systems (both familial and societal) work to gaslight us and make us feel like what happened, didn’t.

Also to connect with the gravity of your trauma can feel scary, overwhelming and heartbreaking. Minimizing our experience may be a way to protect ourselves from these intense feelings and also from a community that cannot hold our grief and fear.

In case you need to hear this,

I believe you.

I trust you.

It was not your fault.

You deserve to be protected.

You deserve care.

Your feelings are valid.