Complex trauma & struggles with sleep, rest, and nightmares
On struggles with sleep
If you are finding it a struggle to sleep or rest, you are not alone. During times of stress, crisis, and trauma, rest can be a coping tool and it can also feel quite out of reach. It can also feel unsafe and difficult to sleep for survivors who are navigating complex trauma. Insomnia, broken sleep, trouble waking easily in the morning and nightmares are all common.
If our nervous system is activated, we might find it hard to downregulate when it’s time for bed. If we are feeling unsafe and uncertain in the world and our environment, it might feel too unsafe to sleep. If big feelings and old wounds are re-emerging, these might come up when we are trying to fall asleep, once we aren’t distracted by the busy-ness of our day.
We cannot force ourselves into sleep but we can weave little rituals into our day to support us to prepare for sleep and allow rest to feel more accessible.
You know best which rituals and rhythms are soothing for you. This might look like sipping herbal tea during the day, incorporating mindfulness or stretching (if those feel accessible and helpful), and experimenting with bedtime rituals. This can be simple and it's okay to start slowly. Everything can be a gentle practice.
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Self-soothing for Nightmares
Nightmares might be our being’s way of processing what we aren’t able to fully process as we live our day to day life. This might feel especially true if your access to support, therapy, and creative outlets has dwindled while you are spending time in close quarters with others, perhaps even in the role of caregiver or parent. It might feel helpful to gently reframe nightmares and bad dreams as your body’s way of processing in the ways it knows how to. Sometimes sleep is the channel for this processing.
When we have nightmares, it might feel helpful to journal the dream in the morning. You can make quick notes, make art about what comes up for you, or even record a voice note into your phone. Similarly to a brain dump, this can help us to close the chapter of the dream and move into our day. It might also feel helpful to review later, even in a therapy session.
If we wake up with nightmares, we can also practice self-soothing:
1. Cuddle a stuffed animal, fuzzy blanket, or hold a grounding object
2. Say a comforting affirmation to yourself, like you would comfort a small child: “I am safe. I am right here. I am okay. I had a dream. I am awake now.”
3. Orienting to your surroundings might also feel helpful - reminding your body that it is in your room, in present time, with familiar objects.
Nightmares can be distressing, and often the next morning we need extra care. Please do be gentle with yourself if you are experiencing distressing sleep.
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We hope some of these suggestions feel helpful. We know that sleep can feel elusive sometimes and that the pressure to sleep well can add even more distress. It is normal to go through periods where you won’t be sleeping as well. Sometimes you may be processing something or working though something. If you are awake in the night, remind yourself that it’s okay to catch up on sleep during the day or sleep in (if that’s accessible right now). You don’t need to be perfect in your quest for rest.
Sending lots of care and sleepy dust your way,
Jess & Drea xo
