Trauma Aware Care

As humans we are extremely adaptive and any response from our being is there because it allowed us to survive in some way. Even the most frightening and unsettling feelings are protective responses that are trying to keep us safe from danger.

Sometimes our system can become overwhelmed and the fight/flight or dissociative responses that emerge don’t have a chance to be completed and the tremendous amount of energy that is mobilized for survival does not get discharged. In these cases, these states can become chronic and feel disruptive and unhelpful.

It can be hard to know what to do or how to support ourselves when we are experiencing big feelings and sensations, or feeling numb and incapacitated. This can be challenging, exhausting, and overwhelming. If this feels resonant for you, you are not alone.

When we look at these responses from a trauma-informed perspective, it might allow us to hold more compassion for ourselves, see the strength in our coping strategies, and tend to...

For a long time I felt afraid that if I didn’t remember everything that happened to me then I wouldn’t heal, but I also felt really afraid to remember everything.

Since becoming a therapist that works primarily with trauma, and continuing my own journey without remembering everything, I’ve learned that remembering can look a lot of different ways and that remembering everything is not necessary.

The reality is that sometimes our body remembers what our mind cannot. We feel these memories in the form of sensations, anxiety, or just a general sense that something bad happened.

Sometimes trauma happens when we are so little that we don’t have words or a framework yet to make sense of it. Instead it informs our very conception of ourselves and the world.

Sometimes to survive what has happened we dissociate so completely that we don’t remember what happened in a clear and concise narrative. Trauma memory can be stored differently from regular memory.

We...

It’s very common for survivors to doubt their experience.

They may question:

Was it really that bad?

Am I mis-remembering?

Did I imagine what happened?

This is an understandable response because our systems (both familial and societal) work to gaslight us and make us feel like what happened, didn’t.

Also to connect with the gravity of your trauma can feel scary, overwhelming and heartbreaking. Minimizing our experience may be a way to protect ourselves from these intense feelings and also from a community that cannot hold our grief and fear.

In case you need to hear this,

I believe you.

I trust you.

It was not your fault.

You deserve to be protected.

You deserve care.

Your feelings are valid.