Co-regulation and grounding

If you feel like you need someone else or something else to feel grounded, you might also feel like you are co-dependent, weak, even needy. In a world where we are told again and again to self heal, to heal alone, to draw solely from our own strength - it can feel vulnerable to need another being as we heal. But part of the truth is that co-regulation is grounding.

When we are with another regulated nervous system, another being who is in their center while attuned to our needs, there is comfort there. Think of a loving friend, your pet, a wonderful therapist or practitioner who holds space alongside you. There is an alchemy in these connections that can soothe our own nervous systems and help us to regulate in times of distress.

Co-regulation can also happen in nature. This is part of the reason that some folx find healing in the woods, by the water, and in the mountains. The earth is a master of regulation, reaching always for equilibrium. We have a lot to learn from that and can be comforted by that wise presence.

If you are striving to feel grounded, and find that you need others in order to get there, please know that humans are built for relationship and you don’t have to go it alone. We’re not meant to.

Find Your Ground: trauma-informed teachings & tools for hard times